2 Recognize... The Power Of TQ-PEN

Until now you have likely never heard of the power of TQ-PEN. But before you finish reading this chapter it will be indelibly imprinted in your memory. I will be much happier if you report to me that it not only is imprinted in your memory but it is now a firm part of your value system. I would be ecstatic if the people around you were to report to me that from their perspective you absolutely live by the TQ-PEN promise.
I assert very firmly that the TQ-PEN promise ought to be nonnegotiable for every Christian, let alone every Christian leader. I submit to you that the primary reason for ill health in the life of the church can be traced back to leadership issues.
Christian leaders must lead as Christ indicated they should live. The teachings of Jesus as recorded in scripture are cryptic. They are more like a sermon outline than a sermon. I fear that the meaning of the teachings of Jesus are lost in the pharisaical approach of pretending to seek amplification while all the time actually seeking to reduce the teaching to the absurd. “But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’” That is the way Luke explains the follow up of a teacher of the law who wanted to diminish the impact of the simple word of the Lord, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” My amplified version of that self justifying question, “And who is my neighbor?” as I can imagine it coming from a pulpit is as follows. “While Jesus told us we are to love our neighbor as ourself, we must understand that not all neighbors are deserving of the same level of love and therefore we must exercise discernment on how far we go with any one individual. And so, we must carefully think through how much love we extend since our resources are very limited. We might well ask, ‘How do I select from the vast array of people who need help, the ones to whom I should express active love?’” Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. That seems reasonable doesn’t it? Now you stop that. You know what Jesus meant. You know that He knew it is possible to pour love down a black hole. Do it anyway. Why? Because Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Full stop.
The Golden Rule
That is just an illustration of how we attempt to take the batteries out of Jesus’ words. The TQ-PEN promise comes from another set of Jesus’ words. You know it by the name the Golden Rule. Here’s the way I learned it as a child. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Here’s the way Luke records it in Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” The impact is exactly the same. But there is no impact at all if you don’t get the primary concept that the rule cannot work if you are expecting others to get it right first. You know how you like to be treated. You hate it when people disrespect you. You despise being ignored. You are quite capable of giving any number of illustrations of how people have mistreated you. In the words of an old Simon and Garfunkel tune, “I get slandered / I get libeled / I hear words I never read in the Bible.” We all do. That is of course the point in creating the rule in the first place. People don’t actually treat you the way you wish they would. This is not an old law based on tit for tat — an eye for an eye — a tooth for a tooth. This is an entirely different way of approaching life. The Golden Rule can only work for you if you work it. And it doesn’t mean you are going to get back what you deliver. It does mean that you must recognize that it is always your turn. You are it. Every time. If others don’t live by the Golden Rule that is not your concern. Yes, you will have to bear the pain associated with that fact, but it is still no reason for you not to do what you are told and live by the Rule.
TQ-PEN promise is based on five practical rollout issues that I am committed to living by. These are five things that I see as direct applications of the Golden Rule.
Truth
The first one is easy to say but when I take it literally and specifically it really challenges me. T = Truth. I will always tell you the truth. When Jimmy Carter became President of the United States, one of the promises he made to the American people was, “I will never lie to you.” That took politics to a much higher level than people expected. It is expected that politicians will tell lies. It is expected that they will promise a chicken in every pot when they know it is impossible to buy the pots let alone the chickens. This is the stuff politicians say. It is expected hyperbole. It is also a lie. Now, let me be quick to add that naiveté in political rhetoric often overstates what might actually be possible despite the best intentions of the politician. I have lots of room for people who in sincerity state intentions and then fail to deliver on those intentions. Well, that is, I have lots of room for them if they will subsequently own up to their failure when challenged.
In many ways church life resembles politics. There are always limited resources to meet the demands of an ever expanding wish list. However, it is never appropriate to promise someone something that is known to be undeliverable. Church leaders must not state that they will look into something if the person will agree first to what is on their agenda. That in itself isn’t so bad. The guild comes if in their heart of hearts they have no intention of looking into the other person’s concern at all. Or at least not with any level of intensity. I refuse to live like that and fail on the first point of the TQ-PEN promise.
But I still wish to ratchet the T part up to an even higher level. It is one thing to tell no lies. That is a good start. I believe that telling the truth involves deliberately avoiding leaving false impressions. If it is plain that the recipient of the communication believes that what you are saying will create better results than what you actually believe, then you are under an obligation to correct their expectations. For example, they might buy into your idea of a grand new church advertising scheme you wish to implement. They might be willing to vote for the expense because they see greater results than are reasonable. However, if you know that their expectations are entirely over rated then you have an obligation to tell them the truth. I do not believe that it is ever possible to build a healthy church based on chicanery. This does create a problem. People are so used to receiving advertising messages that overstate the value of a product that they have an automatic built in mechanism to discount the benefits and results promised. While the ad on TV promises that the particular product will get out all the stains, you just know in your heart of hearts that they have picked the stains the product will remove and have avoided the stains the product cannot touch. However, if you are an advertiser living by the T part of this TQ-PEN promise you would be quick to assert that the product will handle most stains. And you would avoid the overstatement.
You want people to tell you the truth as they know it. Therefore, you should never hide parts of the truth from others that would help them evaluate a particular concept.
I’m not suggesting that you become negatively oriented in your communication and dwell on all of the things that could go wrong. That list is unending. And besides, you wouldn’t want someone to treat you in such a way that they spent all their time telling you what could go wrong. You simply want to know that there are risks in a more general way.
This is proving to be a great burden to me in my ministry. The thing that I love the most is to help people start churches. And when I am realistic in my explanation of what some product or service that I offer can do for the individual who wants to start a church, they often turn away. They simply want more blast for the buck. They are looking for something with more power. Now, I have developed or adapted the most powerful things I know to apply to starting churches. If there is something I know to be more powerful, I will definitely recommend it. When I find more powerful concepts I either adapt the concept, without violating copyrights, or I setup a vending relationship with the owner of the idea. However, over the years I have watched people turn away and try some other idea that promises more success. And I watch people fail every time. In a sense, I could help them by over promising and then after the fact rationalizing the under production down to what I had originally truly expected. I simply refuse to do that because I live by the TQ-PEN promise. I make every effort to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.
Questions
The second dimension of the TQ-PEN promise is Q = Questions. I will always supply the best and most complete answers that I can for your questions. I love it when people answer my questions thoughtfully. I expect you do too. When I answer questions completely it consumes a lot of time. And it is seldom to my economic advantage to invest the time. And yet I still am deeply committed to dispensing the time that God has provided, at an equal pace for all of us (but not duration), in such a way that I supply my very best for every person who asks for my time regardless of their position or station in life. If there’s nothing in it for me, I will still give the best answer I can to any question thoughtfully posed.
I can almost feel the squirming and hear the protests. “But what about my responsibility to manage my time?” “Won’t I be wasting time if I invest it in people with less influence?” “How will I maintain my sanity with all the questions coming my way?”
I don’t believe that I must personally craft an answer for every individualized question on every occasion. I further don’t believe that every question demands an immediate answer that could throw things off schedule.
As long as it is acceptable to the person asking the question, it is a great thing to delegate the answer, giving to someone who can supply the answer consistent with the answer I myself would give. That forces me to duplicate myself as best I can in others so that I will have people to turn to to help me respond.
I will often answer a question that is asked with a specific incident in mind by supplying an answer that can be applied on a broader spectrum of incidents. I do this by the use of various media such as blogs and recordings of various kinds. There are many questions I have fielded that are the genesis of this very book.
By answering questions thoughtfully and completely, I think it keeps my feet in touch with the ground.
Overall the TQ-PEN promise is extremely powerful. I believe that these first two components are foundational and essential for anyone who wishes to provide church leadership. I do not believe it is ever an appropriate option to choose to avoid these two principles. Everyone should get the truth. Everyone should get a timely answer. Every time.
The only way a church can become healthier is if the individuals within the church behave healthier. If the leaders in the church are not respecters of persons but treat everyone with equal authenticity, it provides a basis for health and growth.
There is always a layering of the depth of information that needs to be disclosed. Clearly, the answer that is supplied for a child is not the same answer that is applied for an adult in the church. And it might be argued that one who has been appointed or elected to a leadership role needs a more complete explanation than a regular church member. However, there must never be different versions of the truth. The same truth may be explained in progressive steps of revelation. You might be more concise and therefore less complete with one individual than you might be with another. This disclosure must never move from falsehood to truth. There must never be one version for one subset of people and another version for a difference subset. For example, it is never useful to tell young people something about music to articulate support and then say something completely different to older folks who can’t stand the young people’s music. All that approach can achieve is discord. You could grind up all your energy and willpower by trying to keep the various forces at arm’s length from one another. As this is true with groups, it is also true with individuals. You can’t simply speak to one part of the overall agenda with one individual because you and that person are on the same page and then ignore other parts of the agenda where there is divergence. And then, you can’t go to the next individual and speak of a different part of the agenda where there is agreement while ignoring the perspective of the first person. If you do, everyone might think you agree with them but they won’t ever achieve agreement with each other and thus move in the direction of unity. You have to be a straight shooter to gain respect and move a group towards unity.
Telling the truth and answering all the questions in an open and transparent way makes an enormous difference in producing an environment in which the church can grow.
But we must move on. The last three parts of the TQ-PEN promise are straightforward.
Phone
P = Phone. If you live by the TQ-PEN promise you must commit to this concept. I will always answer my phone or return the call at the earliest possible time. If you leave me a phone message I will return your call. Period. Frankly, I am astounded at how few pastors will live by this part of the rule. But they will be quick to chirp about it if others don’t. It is my opinion that you must never screen your calls in the sense of deciding who you will speak to and who you will not speak to. Come on. Admit it. It drives you nuts when people won’t return your phone calls. If you want others to return your phone calls then you are obligated to return theirs. It matters not to me if it is some telemarketer who leaves their number. I always return those calls. And then almost always tell them I’m not interested. But they hear it from my voice. Not from my silence.
Yes this can get tedious. There are some phone calls I would rather avoid. The truth be known, there are some people I must relate to I would rather not speak to until they corner me. I refuse to let myself live that way. If you call me to complain, I will take the call. If I know that you want to rehash an issue we’ve gone over before, I will still return the telephone call. If you want me to respond to some invitation that I would rather not take, I will still give you my answer over the telephone if that’s the way you contact me in the first place.
Actually it’s not as hard as I make it out to be. I’ve found that dealing with the issue as fast as possible is far less draining then figuring out ways to avoid the issue. And it takes far less time to do it than it does to grovel with an apology of why you didn’t get around to doing it.
E-mail
E = E-mail. I will always answer your e-mails. No really. Test me on this. I get hundreds of e-mails every day. When I am away from my desk for a week as I am right now, I put a vacation message on my primary e-mail addresses and tell you when I will deal with incoming e-mail. Today is Tuesday. I intend to finish writing this book by Friday. I have a 12 hour drive home on Saturday. I will do some editing while my wife drives part of the way. I must preach in my church on Sunday. Monday I will get your e-mail. But it’s not like you are the only one. There will be 1,000 e-mails or so in my inbox. Most of those will be generic newsletter type e-mails from lists to which I have given permission to communicate with me. If you are one who has generated such a list with valuable information, it is not likely that I will give it my full attention on Monday. Most of the 1000 e-mails will simply get deleted. However, I will invest a couple of hours in thoughtfully going through all that e-mail and picking out the ones that have directly asked me for a response. They will get a thoughtful response. Whatever it takes.
Under normal circumstances when I receive an e-mail it gets a direct response when requested within 24 hours. If the e-mail is going to take less than 5-10 minutes, I will deal with it the moment I open it. If it is going to take a longer response than that I will supply a short answer explaining when the complete answer will be forthcoming. Letting things scroll off my screen because I procrastinate will not help anyone. There will not be more time later than there is today. So the emptier I can keep my e-mail inbox the better.
This brings to bear the whole question of time management. I highly recommend to you the book and the system created by David Allen called “Getting Things Done.” Buy that book. No I don’t sell it. But I do recommend you get it, learn the system and live by it. I am in the process of changing on this subject and Allen has helped me tremendously. One of the ways I am implementing his system is through using a private G-mail address and an add-on for the Firefox browser called the GTD add-on. I can always send an e-mail from my BlackBerry to my private G-mail account and then process to do items very efficiently. Get my CD on how to do this.
No
The final component of the TQ-PEN promise is N = No. If you ever give me a final “no” on a request I will respect it, drop it and move on. I will never hold it against you. Oh yes, it would be disingenuous of me to suggest that I won’t feel some disappointment, but I will not let that disappointment poison our relationship.
On the other hand, if I ever need to say “no” to you, you will hear from me directly. I will not leave you hanging. I will not supply a passive “no” when an active “yes” or “no” is what is expected. I believe that most people would rather be rejected than ignored. I know I would. Definitely, I would rather not be rejected, but I can handle that better than being ignored.
When taken as a bundle the five elements of the TQ-PEN promise provide a very practical way for me personally to focus my understanding of the Golden Rule. If you liked the way I am committed to treating you and wish that others would respond in a similar fashion, then I guess you are on the hook with me, aren’t you? The Golden Rule has never been rescinded. It’s our turn. You and I are it.
I sincerely hope that you now recognize the power of the TQ-PEN promise. If it seems to you that there’s too much work implied here, then I challenge you to come up with an alternative that is absolutely consistent with what Jesus expects of you. Whatever you do, you must develop a life style that calls out to people, “Follow me as I follow Christ!” He has the power and will transfer it through you in simple ways. Of course, we can start with the moral imperatives of Scripture as summarized in the 10 commandments. You will do well to staple the TQ-PEN promise to your moral sensibilities.
It is a tall order. But if you’re going to be like Jesus, then when people read His words your name needs to pop into their mind and they need to be saying, “That reminds me of old So-And-So. That’s just the way he/she lives.” It seems to me that the evaluation of who you are will be best established by people after you have moved on either to another location or to the next life. You must be sure that you leave a legacy behind you. The legacy you leave will never be in the bricks, the mortar, the messages, the programs or the positions you held. And it certainly won’t be in the money you leave behind. Your legacy will be measured by who you were — who you are now becoming. When others measure themselves by you then you are on to something. You want people to look to you and say I want to be like old So-And-So when I grow up because old So-And-So reminds me of Jesus. And I think if Jesus were here today He would be saying a hearty amen to the TQ-PEN promise.